The Aim is Love

This time of year, whether we want to or not, we're faced with acknowledgment of romantic love. This day could create a lot of pain, but in some cases, it just makes us ponder what love is. If we can gain and grow during holidays, then a good old "pondering" is a rather helpful and more positive way of working through this holiday and gaining valuable knowledge about ourselves. In other words, we awaken to limited concepts and expand in new awareness.

I saw a post the other day on the difference between twin flames, beloveds and soulmates. I had to giggle to myself, as it was so much about the perceived value of love and comparison around relationships, rather than just being in a relationship. People often want reassurance that the person they're with is the "one." They want a guarantee that they won't be betrayed or waste time. Sadly, there are no guarantees.

This post also posed the question of whether we're lucky or unlucky and if we're spiritually evolved enough to be with our twin and live happily ever after. The pain that this simple social media post could create left me feeling a little cranky with its creator.

This idealism around twin flames seems to be a label today to either make you feel superior or utterly desperate in your unlovable-ness and inability to get a twin. Sure, it matters whether you're loved in a relationship, but the quality of love isn't the question. Love is love - labeling it could have a detrimental outcome for a relationship. However, we all have an inkling of whether the relationship is loving or not, and knowing if it's a soulmate, beloved, or twin flame relationship won't change the outcome of the relationship. In most cases, the soul desires to experience love without categorizing it, but rather being innocent to it.

If you have a partner who is uninterested, except to argue or have sex with you, you may feel unwanted and unloved in the relationship long-term. Whether this is a soulmate or beloved doesn't make a difference; this one may not be the right person for you, unless you like to argue and have sex. Then, this person is right for you. The label of the relationship is neither here nor there. Still, there's the question of karma and our desire to evolve and take on life's lessons, so we can grow in our soul and union to Spirit.

The Sufi Poet Rumi 

“Lose yourself,

Lose yourself in this love.

When you lose yourself in this love,

you will find everything.

“Lose yourself,

Lose yourself.

Do not fear this loss,

For you will rise from the earth

and embrace the endless heavens.

Lose yourself,

Lose yourself.

Escape from this earthly form, 

For this body is a chain

and you are its prisoner.

Smash through the prison wall

and walk outside with the kings and princes.

Lose yourself,

Lose yourself at the foot of the glorious King. When you lose yourself

before the King

you will become the King.

Lose yourself,

Lose yourself.

Escape from the black cloud

that surrounds you.

Then you will see your own light

as radiant as the full moon.

Now enter that silence. 

This is the surest way

to lose yourself. . . .

What is your life about, anyway?—

Nothing but a struggle to be someone,

Nothing but a running from your own silence”.

Rumi, Rumi: In the Arms of the Beloved

We are here to “experience” we are here to learn who we are via our own deepest awarenesses and via reflections of other people, Therefore whether a soul we are in a relationship with, is a soul mate, beloved or twin flame isn’t the aim. The aim is to love.